Not Paying Dating Expenses

I was surprised to read that the Japanese government agency Gender Equality Bureau announced that not paying any dating expenses at all is considered domestic violence. One of the issues this bureau is concerned with is domestic violence and this doesn’t only mean physical violence. I hadn’t considered whether not paying any of the expenses on a date is domestic violence. (I know, it’s been a long time since I was in the dating world!) 

On the Bureau’s website are four types of domestic violence listed: psychological violence, physical violence, sexual violence, and economic violence. Economic violence is defined as such things as using a partner’s money without permission or borrowing money from a partner and refusing to pay it back. One item that has people talking right now is “not paying any dating expenses at all.” 

When I was in high school and started dating, the boy/man did the asking and the paying. Things were more casual when I was in university, so there wasn’t so much emphasis on who asked or paid. After I and the men I dated were working, the expenses were shared. That was a very long time ago and I haven’t given any thought about it since then. 

I don’t know how big of a problem this is in Japan. It’s described on the Bureau’s website, so there must be a reason. Is this equal between genders, or are some people being taken advantage of more so than others? The website doesn’t seem clear on where this is directed.  I think that forcing someone to pay all the time isn’t good, but there could be voluntary reasons such as one party earning much more money than the other that would cause that person to pay all the dating expenses. If this is a big issue in Japan, I’m glad it is spelled out. What do you think?